Tech-savvy Sipper Pillows

'Rest assured that your information will not be shared. Now, where can I e-mail the receipt?'

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.

'The nice thing about my wine library is, I can't accidentally leave it on the bus.'

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Questions Online

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

Can I get you another coffee?

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Gin-etic Engineering

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"They misspelled your avatar."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

'What did we do before green tea?'

Shall I draw a cork for us?

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'Whatever happened to swirl, sniff and taste?'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."