Stay-at-home Sipper Pillows

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Scariest Tactics

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

'What did we do before green tea?'

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

The Guy Who Invented An Alcohol Substitute

'Let's drink to air conditioning.'

... and fermentation is computer-controlled by a piquant little microchip from the southern slopes of Silicon Valley.

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Happy new year'

Rarely leaving the house and working just steps away from my refrigerator has expanded my waistline. A homebody!