Hot Chocolate Sipper Pillows

'May I have five bucks for a hot chocolate, sir? †coffee makes me nervous.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Beach flirting

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

Complaints Desk

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

A very fine vintage

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

Baby it's cold outside.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'