Hot Chocolate Sipper T-Shirts

'May I have five bucks for a hot chocolate, sir? †coffee makes me nervous.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Beach flirting

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

Complaints Desk

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Anton's Bar and Grill

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

A very fine vintage

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

Baby it's cold outside.

The Cheshire Cat drinking tea.

"'60 Minutes' is on."

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'