Cider Sipper Pillows

"It's a hard life!"

"Oh no - a ciderman"

"Well, the spider you swallowed in the scrumpy is now wriggling and tickling in cider."

Beer Stall

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

City Boy.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The last song before the party exploded.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Whine and cheezed party."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Beach flirting

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

A very fine vintage

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Complaints Desk

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

Anton's Bar and Grill

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.