Cognac Sipper Pillows

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Champagne

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Beer Stall

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Deflator mouse

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Beach flirting

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

A very fine vintage

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Complaints Desk

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Thursday is the new Friday

Baby it's cold outside.

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I told you to sip it!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'Happy New Year!'