Beer Sipper Pillows

Breaking Bad Wind

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

City Boy.

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Beer Stall

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

The last song before the party exploded.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Beach flirting

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

Complaints Desk