Bowling Alley Manager Gifts

"I'm afraid there's little we can do to reverse the significant losses projected for our bowling team."

High security Santa's grotto

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

Fantasy Business Management

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

King Pin

"Wow, he seems totally normal outside of work."

Bowling - The Early Years. This game will never catch on --- it's too hard on the goalie.

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

'This doesn't look good.'

"Smite him, my son!"

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

"I need to reduce operating costs by 20 percent...so that means pay cuts for everybody. But since this move requires the skills of a highly trained manager...I'm giving myself a performance bonus.

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

Middle Manager

'Go ahead, big bowler... Show me what you've got!'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

Pass the buck...

'Middle managers play tennis.'

Information in, delay, & never out.