Boutique Product Connoisseurs Gifts

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"Do you do these in sheep?"

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

'Did Picasso get hounded every 10 minutes?'

'Do you buy any chance have a gazelle print shirt?'