Gift Connoisseurs Gifts

"I'm done with experiences. Next year just get me a thing."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Read the card! Read the card!"

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Russian Doll Christmas

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'It's my stool sample.'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'

"Just how rare? The first print run of this book, in 1935 was just 6 copies and we're still waiting for one of those to sell...."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'