Funny Gift Connoisseur Gifts

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.

Beach con-man.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Who's a cutey?

"I suffered a stroke."

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Secular Cloisters

Chilli Quartet

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

How do I know it's yours?

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

Nail Bar

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

An old man with a ball and chain attached to his zimmer frame

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.