Funny Gift Lover Gifts

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

An old man with a ball and chain attached to his zimmer frame

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Hissy-fits for sale.

Pigeons are evil,

'You should think about signing up for a computer course. Every time you finish using the computer you leave correction fluid all over the monitor.'

'First time fly fishing?'

"You do realize she's not your real mother."

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"I thought it had a twist-off cap."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

King Kongs first christmas

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

Evil Pusskins #9

About Santa 2017.

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'