Gift Connoisseurs T-Shirts

"I'm done with experiences. Next year just get me a thing."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

The Re-Giving Tree

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

Christmas Dwarves

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Russian Doll Christmas

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'It's my stool sample.'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Just how rare? The first print run of this book, in 1935 was just 6 copies and we're still waiting for one of those to sell...."

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."