Gift Aficionados T-Shirts

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

Emergency Phone.

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Christmas Dwarves

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Russian Doll Christmas

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'It's my stool sample.'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

'Son, that's not just your dad's playbook...It's a record of the hugs and kisses he gave you through the years.'

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

"It's a gift for the tooth fairy so I used dental floss instead of ribbon."

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

Actually, I'm looking for a gift that says nothing.