Gift Aficionado T-Shirts

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"It's unfair to have my birthday on Christmas day! I get less gifts!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

The Rubber Ball Company

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

Online Shopping.

'I can change! I swear!'

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Pencil eraser."

It's more than a mike!

'OK, it's a deal. You take my baths for me and I'll buy you some new toys.'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

The Re-Giving Tree

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

LEGO profits.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Christmas Dwarves

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

'As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff.'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."