Bottle Savant Gifts

Bottle Bank. . .

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"I come here for the pepper."

New Suit.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

Tie Rolls

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

Choosing What To Wear.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

GURLERS

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

It's not a love bite, I just play the violin.