Soda Savant Gifts

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Holiday Gifts 2020

'Not whale stew again.'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

Sandwich snob.

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

Make Your Own Alphabet Soup Starter Kit

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

Bottle Bank. . .

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

'I think it needs more punctuation.'

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

"Let me guess. You want French and you want ranch?"

'Try new 'Letter-Rip!' It's alphabet soup AND a laxative! Guaranteed to give you a vowel movement!'

"Guilty! The broth was awful!"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"This means that my dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich!"