Soda Savant Gifts

"You carry on, I've brought my own."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"I come here for the pepper."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Holiday Gifts 2020

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

Sandwich snob.

'Not whale stew again.'

Make Your Own Alphabet Soup Starter Kit

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"Teeth cleaned. No questions asked."

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

Bottle Bank. . .

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

'I think it needs more punctuation.'

"Let me guess. You want French and you want ranch?"

'Try new 'Letter-Rip!' It's alphabet soup AND a laxative! Guaranteed to give you a vowel movement!'

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

"This means that my dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich!"