Drink Savant Gifts

'I often come here to unwind.'

Bad for you but to die for

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Happy Hour

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

New Suit.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Tie Rolls

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Ah — excellent catsup."