Bot Buff Gifts

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Bees v Wasps

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Hysterically laughing monster.

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"To be a bee, or not to be a bee, that is the question."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

It's Not Easy Being Ant Boy!

'D'you have any salt?'

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

At a pine beetle concert.

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