Byte Buff Gifts

'It's okay, John. Everyone's entire life fits on a microchip.'

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Alternative fielding positions

Obsession with the Internet.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Tic-tac-toe

Battery Lighthouse

' A new idea '

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"But I use all of them!"

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

Bees v Wasps

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

Surge Plans.

"At last, a low-level panel!"