Bit Buff Gifts

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Obsession with the Internet.

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Battery Lighthouse

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Binary Man

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

Bees v Wasps

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

It's Not Easy Being Ant Boy!

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"To be a bee, or not to be a bee, that is the question."

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

'D'you have any salt?'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

It's a wireless.

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"