Wit Buff Gifts

"Anyone who doesn't know you, would think you are sophisticated."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Miss America IQ Pageant

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Doggone

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

COWMIKAZES

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Pickle

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Paper Boy

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."