Boaty Humorist Gifts

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Pirates at the mall.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Guide fish.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'It was this big. I swear'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Man painting MOM on boat

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Another hot flash?

Shark Chum

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

'I say, it would be ever so nice if you could hand me my rubber ducky'.