Boaty Humorist Pillows

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Japanese Whaling

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Guide fish.

'It was this big. I swear'

Pirates at the mall.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Man painting MOM on boat

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'We're drifting apart.'

'I say, it would be ever so nice if you could hand me my rubber ducky'.

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.