Black Hole Ponderers Gifts

'Fine, I'll say it - the Hadron Collider was a bad idea! Are you happy now, Bob?'

Schrodinger's Black Box

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Ten Commandments

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Say again: a train going 50 Miles Per Hour leaves Chicago heading to a black hole where the rules of motion change as a function of distance from a singularity ... and then what?'

Economic Downturns

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Great, now we're lost."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

Celestial Navigation

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

Off to a bad start.

George Santayana

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

Jealousy

"The arc of the moral universe."

Entomology. Ant Colony. Ants must worry about their work-life balance.

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

Stephen Hawking: Pale Blue Dot

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."