Placebo Ponderers Gifts

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Woah - random!"

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Caption Contest TK

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Goalkeeping Dog

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"