Placebo Skeptic Gifts

'You have hypochondria... are you allergic to placebo?'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

Alternative Medicine

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"I totally meant to do that."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'This doesn't look good. I'm afraid you've developed an immunity to placebos.'

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Science deniers Soc.

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."