Placebo Performer Gifts

'This doesn't look good. I'm afraid you've developed an immunity to placebos.'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Double Saxophone

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Creative department ?

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

A violinist adds balloons and bells to her bow.

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

Cat wing walking.

Sale: Air guitar. As new.

Placebo Clinic: 'Mr Yomp, someone who may or may not be a doctor, will see you now...'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

'I like how the band are not afraid to experiment.'

"I don't think air guitar counts."

Interpretive Cheering

Talk to your doctor about Placebitrex...the pill that does whatever you think you need it to.

'You have hypochondria... are you allergic to placebo?'

"'Shake well. Settling is normal.' I feel better and I haven't even taken it."

"Gather 'round and I'll sing in a style that's just earnest enough to make you uncomfortable."

'I must tell you that the drug that cured you has been proven completely ineffective.'

'The good news is you're a hypochondriac. the better news is we have a special on placebos all this week.'