Potential Ponderer Gifts

'Try not to remove any of my untapped potential.'

'Please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

"Needs to get a life"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Totalitarian Humour

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"I'll have dessert first."

Artist chained to his drawing.

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Jesus wept

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"