Potential Ponderer Pillows

'Try not to remove any of my untapped potential.'

'Please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

"Needs to get a life"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Totalitarian Humour

'At least I don't have his life.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

Artist chained to his drawing.

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"Woah - random!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Bumper Limos

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'