Possibility Ponderer Pillows

'We can't make any plans. By the time we grow up, there will be professions no one has ever dreamed of.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"I hear you may do a baby."

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Artist chained to his drawing.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I'll have dessert first."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"

"Woah - random!"

Happy Mothers Day

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom