Dilemma Ponderer Pillows

A lady having trouble deciding whether to jump over a fence or not

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Thinking and thinking backwards.

Max Weber

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Inventing Time Travel

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Caption Contest TK

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."