Parental Dilemma Ponderer Pillows

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'My kids don't understand me.'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

'He was raised by sparrows!'

"Right, we could go with the ethical decision, but let's not panic yet."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Looks like Timmy got solitary.'

'If we're seedless watermelons, where did I come from?'

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I couldn't find a sitter."

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Ingredients: me

Baby Philosophy.

"You cheated on the assignment and got an A? Glad to see you've learned a useful life skill."

"It's not nepotism if I'm the best son for the job."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"When I was growing up, my parents only ever gave me two choices for everything I did: The carrot or the stick..."

"Does school choice include whether he gets a tenured teacher?"

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"I wasn't nervously hovered around enough as a child."

"We think he needs more individual neglect."