Parental Paradox Ponderer Pillows

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Inventing Time Travel

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Schrodinger's kittens

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"If someone tells you they lied, they are probably telling the truth."

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

307 days without an accident.

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."