Proposal Ponderer Pillows

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

'Will you marry me?'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

"Tim, I'm having a problem with your marriage proposal."

A cool proposal

'It just wouldn't work out Derek. I'm from a red state and you're from a blue state.'

'It's simple, small and cheap. If she likes you, she'll probably like it.'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

'When you say you want my daughter's hand, what exactly do you mean?'

'Well, what if I were the last HETEROSEXUAL man on earth?'

"I need time to consider it, yes!"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

G7 Summit Concern

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Roe v. Wade

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Do Guns Kill?

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

The two faces of capitalism.

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'Hey, get out of my space!'