Public Proposal Ponderer Pillows

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"What was I thinking?!"

G7 Summit Concern

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Roe v. Wade

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Do Guns Kill?

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Violent Crime Statistics

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

The two faces of capitalism.

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

The Politics of Food.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

'Hey, get out of my space!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."