Birthing Coaches Gifts

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A midwife holding a baby

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Parenting Business Deals

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

In the club.

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Technology is for babies!"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"