Childbirth Enthusiast Gifts

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

Uterus: One size fits all.

Womb for Kids

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

Open other end

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Bouncing baby