Childbirth Enthusiast Gifts

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

Uterus: One size fits all.

Womb for Kids

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Whoa

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"