Home Birth Enthusiast Gifts

In the club.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Bouncing baby

Giving Birth

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Maternity Hospital