Natural Birth Enthusiast Gifts

Though initially enthusiastic about natural childbirth, the Millers felt their midwives took the concept too far.

'Would the father like to gnaw through the umbilical cord?'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Bouncing baby

In the club.

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Giving Birth

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'