Birth Coach Gifts

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Bond James, Bond."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The cell phone soother for life.

A midwife holding a baby

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Botany Baby!

"WHich one is mine?"

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Whoa

Baby Mozart.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

celebrating a birth.

'She posted her first blog today.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'