Birthing Coaches T-Shirts

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A midwife holding a baby

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

Parenting Business Deals

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Uterus: One size fits all.

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

In the club.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"