Childbirth Champ T-Shirts

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A Tit for Tat.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

The First Day Back

Fathers are Heroes

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

'Mother will catch you!'

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'When the bough broke, did the daycare center's insurance rates go up?'

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

'I haven't been campaigning for a creche all these years for nothing - you're going!'

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

Womb for Kids

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Father's Day

'I came untucked.'