Breastfeeding Champion T-Shirts

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Glass Ceiling

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

The First Day Back

Fathers are Heroes

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'Mother will catch you!'

Muy mum rocks.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

Father's Day

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'I came untucked.'

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

Breastfeeding in public

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'It's just called breast milk. It doesn't need a fancy brand name.'

MOMumental Achievements.

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"Just when the glass ceiling's become the glass floor we have to worry about upskirting."

"And what have you done for us women?"

'Personally I think the washer needs replacing.'