Breastfeeding Champion Pillows

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Glass Ceiling

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Fathers are Heroes

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Muy mum rocks.

'Mother will catch you!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'I came untucked.'

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

Father's Day

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

Breastfeeding in public

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'It's just called breast milk. It doesn't need a fancy brand name.'

"Just when the glass ceiling's become the glass floor we have to worry about upskirting."

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"And what have you done for us women?"

'Personally I think the washer needs replacing.'

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'