Breastfeeding Champions Pillows

'Personally I think the washer needs replacing.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Fathers are Heroes

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'Mother will catch you!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

'I came untucked.'

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'Do you have a reservation?'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

Breastfeeding in public

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'It's just called breast milk. It doesn't need a fancy brand name.'

"She scares the hell out of me. She's brainy, creative and sexy."

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'

"Yea, mom, knows everything...she's momnipotent."

Zipper complimenting zip child: "Ah, she's a cute as a button!"

'Honestly, they grow so quickly these days.'

"No woman should have children over 40, that's quite enough for anybody."

'Slow down! Are you trying to drown me?'

'You know what? I agree with my son's opinion of you.'

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

'I just wish she wouldn't walk us to school.'