Breastfeeding Warrior Pillows

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

'That never gets old.'

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'