Nursing Warrior Pillows

NHS targets

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Our war is against cancer."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

The Cougher

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Exercising

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.