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Fathers are Heroes

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'I came untucked.'

'You know what? I agree with my son's opinion of you.'

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'She's been like this all day!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"Yea, mom, knows everything...she's momnipotent."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

A Tit for Tat.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Having nannies really changes you."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

JAMES BONDING

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'The stuka brought you.'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

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"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"