Birthing Buff T-Shirts

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Men explained.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Editor. Short. Sweet.

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Get out of me!'

"Let me get this straight. For your last wish you want all your friends to share their streaming services passwords with you?"

'Bad news, Billy Bob! The tests show that your phantom is a contagious equine meteitis carrier.'

"Ralph has his own little microbrewery."

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

'Excuse me Madam!!'

Up the duff!

Hey guys come see, Trevors found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Warehousing, St Catherine's Docks

'All I talk about is beer and brewing? That's not trub. In fact, it's the wort thing you've ever said to me.'

'I'm sure it's a boy. Because every time I touch the TV remote, he kicks me.'